good times

I was just looking through my 3rd standard personal diary. Yes, I did have one back then and yes, I used to write in it diligently every day. With a little box in the right bottom corner filled with illustrations of me and ugly caricatures of the other people in my life, no less.

I'm actually getting a little teary eyed right now, thinking of K's thread ceremony (explained in minute detail in The Diary), my "project" about world peace, my crush on that spiky-haired sixth grader, my first major fight with J, the first time I got the 4th position in class, et al.

I seriously can't believe I used to be that innocent and un-conniving.

In retrospect, I'm coming to realize that I was best as a kid. Finger painting, strange storytelling, kai-thutthu eating (for the uninitiated, mother/grandmother dropping bite-sized portion of your rice into the middle of palm for you to eat?), playing house-house, ship-ship, caravan-caravan. Brilliant times..

I'm such a misfit in the bigger world. Sometimes I want to rest my head on my grandmother's lap and let her run her fingers through my hair and magically make things better. But yeah, even the wanting is indulgent, sadly.

The 12th std public exams start tomorrow, and for some reason, I'm getting nervous. Good luck, y'all! I'll actually go to the temple and plead for some divine intervention, not that you peeps need it.