Monday, April 27, 2009

I elaborate.

The reason I think Thaalis and other forms of marriage-jewellery are unnecessary for women is not because I find tradition redundant or Indian customs stupid.

Basically, a thaali represents the fact that a woman is married, it announces to the world that she's taken, so don't try anything funny. But if you think about it, its not like a woman is ONLY someone's wife once she's married, she's still a friend, a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter. None of these other relationships require anything like a sign on your forehead to show the world. They don't NEED badges, why this?

Also, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with my mom and Poongodi, our hired help. On a whim, I asked my mom why the wife had to proclaim her marital status to the world while the guy didn't really have anything that did the same?
Amma said it was a sign of security for a woman, and more than its actual place in the scriptures, it symbolizes that a woman is married and that she means something to someone.
I don't mean to sound vehemently feministic again, but why doesn't the Indian male do the same? A commitment bracelet or a wedding ring doesn't sound too bad does it?
Poongodi said that's how things were, 'onnum maaraadhu ma'.

Otherwise, I don't have anything against anything. :)

PS- Shyam, a friend of mine, blogs at He writes yamaaazing poetry and pretty darn awesome pieces of prose too. He wondered why I was against jewellery as a symbol of commitment and hence, this post. :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

The voice inside my head.

Most people I know label me a feminist (I prefer pro-feminist, thank you very much). I have pretty decided views on women and what they have to offer the world. I am against the cult of patriarchy, ethnic cleansing targeted at women alone and all other forms of sexism.

I know for sure that I will remain secure and independent regardless of the presence of a man in my life. I know that I'll never fast for a man's possible gain, or announce my marital status to the world through a piece of jewellery (Karvachauth and the Thaali/Metti I mean). I know that I will keep my name for as long as I live, and not have it usurped by any other, also that I will have a life apart from whoever I'm with.

If you choose to call this militant feminism or anti-traditionalist, fine by me.

But of late, I've been listening to my friends rant on about their mutual infatuations (or maybe more) and I wonder. What would it be like to actually be on the receiving end of some good old-world chivalry? The kind we read about and roll our eyes at? Like say, having doors opened for you? Getting a bunch of flowers before dinner? Offering to pay whether or not I let you?

I know this completely blows my other argument, but is it wrong to be surprised once in a while? I AM perfectly capable of opening doors, paying bills et al.

But still. Sometimes I wonder.

Is that wrong?

In other news, I'd like to know. Does anyone stop to think before labelling other people a 'slut' or 'bitch'? Its so easy to point fingers, no?

I feel achingly lonely. Which probably explains why this post is all sad-sad. Anyhoo, it'll stop making sense to me in no time, as soon as my mood swings up again. :)

Don't mind me.

Another day, another tag :D

- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture
- Use this website ( to make your collage.
- Save the image for use in this note.
- Post and tag

1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

yeah, google me and see :D

Friday, April 24, 2009

They were there for me.

All through the times when I felt alone. When I wanted nothing but company. And unlimited mud souffle. And some Meg Cabot/Tagore. And all those people from Dubai and Pune and Bangalore and Chennai and Vermillion and Cupertino to come back and talk to me.

They were there. And how.

A good 20 minutes could always turn my day around. And also make me realize HOW out of my league Matthew Perry is. Also how unattainable Courteney Cox would be, if I were a guy of course.

Thought. I haven't had a good conversation in such a long time. How very saddening.

Friday, April 17, 2009

If you're happy and you know it..

Chennai is one of my most favourite cities in the world. I’m a small-town girl at heart I guess, and I can rave over the mountains and the trees as much as the next person. But Chennai rocks my socks. Every single time.

Its something in the air. The humidity is oppressive, the lingering scent of sweat in the air suffocates you, the sheer multitude of people can be pretty scary (to my mom atleast), but without all that it just wouldn’t BE Chennai.

We went to Ranganathan Street today, me, my mom and my 10 year old sister. My mom and my sister are the kind who love staying indoors, real far-from-the-madding-crowd types. But my dad and I are a little more adventurous, atleast if you consider my family alone. So from the dredges of my 5th std memories I summoned up the location of West Mambalam station and the way back to Nanganallur. :D (which is an accomplishment! Amma wanted to wait for the car.)

Ranganathan Street is, to say the least, overwhelming. The onrushing throng of people, the dominance of Saravana and all his Stores, Chocobar wrappers lying on the ground, stomped flat, tailoring offers coming from men with earnest, sweaty brows, little kids clutching their parents’ sleeves like lifelines, intensely coloured salwars clashing with their kurtas, all up for display. You look at all those people, on their own ways, doing their own stuff, with problems of their own, ostensibly not worried about whether they’re wearing Abercrombie&Fitch, whether the other people on the road notice them, whether they got tickets to that movie they wanted to watch, so on and so forth, and you feel humbled. And once again, I’m reminded in strange ways of how distinctive people actually are in themselves, and their total impact on the lives of people around them. Ok, random.

Anyway, from Palavanthangal Amma was just telling me about how Dad took her in a cycle rickshaw once immediately after their wedding, and I asked her why we couldn’t do it now, and so we did. :D The rickshaw puller said it ran on a motor and so there was no harm done to him. It was a first for me, and I enjoyed it. I took a picture of him once we got to Athey’s place, and he was simply thrilled.

It was a good day. I’m happy.

In other news, I bought a pirated copy of Paths of Glory and Love Story in Pondy Bazaar. I was tempted to buy Letters to the Penthouse, but then ultimately didn’t.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Half tag.

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now (names withheld)

1) All I want is for you to be proud of me. I haven’t been what you want me to be, but I’d do anything to ensure that you’re proud of me. I’m so thankful for you.
2) Can’t you think for yourself for ONCE? Why are you afraid of the idea of having your own opinion?
3) I’m not angry/over-reacting. That’s the way my voice is. And please don’t read too much into what I say, I’m not putting you down the way you think I am.
4) Go buy me chocolate. And also. Stop lying, we do NOT have a divorced aunt who’s a fashion designer interning under Satya Paul OR a brother at a boarding school in Kolkata. I love you though.
5) I care for you the mostest, and I’m extremely glad you are what you are to me. You make me happy when skies are grey. You know I couldn’t get on without you in my life. I can’t put what we have into words, because that would be oversimplification at its craziest. Tu hai toh I’ll be alright :D
6) For the last time, you’re great company, I genuinely like talking to you. And I’d call you if I could.
7) Take us out for dinner no? I’ll clean my room tomorrow, for SURE.
8) Why did you have to leave? It’s a strange kind of disconnect, this. But I love the feeling I get when you’re here, it’s always like you never left.
9) Now that I realized that everything you said was completely meaningless, would you mind telling me why you did in the first place? Being around you is a supreme mindfuck for me. Still. You made me question my own worth, and that’s something I can never forgive you for. I STILL feel useless sometimes, thanks to your self-induced martyrdom and everything it brought.
10) I do respect you, but please, please drop the general obnoxiousness and that know-it-all air. How insecure do you have to be to come up with THAT as a defence mechanism? Your coldness scares the shit out of me, all the other little people might not be in your intellectual league, but do try not to be as unnecessarily sharp.

Nine Things About Yourself

1) I am a dreamer. And I can be very embarrassing to be around sometimes, thanks to my total stupidity.
2) Light matters a lot to me. I can’t stay in rooms which are darkish with no sunlight, no matter how beautiful they are.
3) I’m a compulsive worrier, and I manage to successfully ruin things for myself that way.
4) I want to live everywhere! I physically crave living in Paris, NY and Kolkata.
5) Books are my cocaine. I often re-read books and re-watch movies, and choose to do so sometimes even when new books and movies are at hand.
6) I have lots of people in my life, but very few I need to talk to everyday. My parents, Harith and Vidyuth are definitely among them.
7) I love the idea of becoming a diplomat/therapist/anything having to do with people because dynamics and relationships excite me. Anthropology and Politics are so interesting because you get to know about the impacts of actions/non-actions. And I love the idea of individuals having such an influence.
8) I have the most amazing family in the world, and differences apart, I’d be lost without them.
9) I have these randomly devised theories about life and faith and the universe and human nature and after that, everything that happens either modifies or reinforces those theories in my head.

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

1) Be yourself.
2) Play hard to get.
3) Say something that makes me think/laugh and you’re there.
4) Listen hard and show me you care.
5) Be generous with hugs.
6) Do something insaaaane, just for me.
7) Give me my space, because I’m definitely one to give you yours.
8) Don’t play girl-games or keep me hanging, I can’t pursue anything without clear encouragement.

Five Things You Want To Do Before You Die

1) Experience Harvard. Meet John Nash and JK Rowling.
2) Hitchhike across Europe. Go bungee jumping and snorkeling in Australia.
3) Work for NatGeo. Start a restaurant. Speak for India at the UN. Work for communal harmony.
4) Fall in passionate, incomprehensible, insane love. Lose my head and do crazy things, all in the name of some guy I know I can’t live without.
5) Get 4 dogs, name them Shilo, Layla, Uzi and Pig.

I was bored. Not enough to do the whole thing though.

Her Morning Elegance.

Exams are finally over, and I'm freeee in ever sense of the word.
I got my phone back, and I can tell you nothing has made me as happy as the smell of my phone in a very long time. Yeah, my olfactory tendencies sort of work overtime, sorry about that. My phone smells like.. home.

Other things I absolutely LOVE about being on vacation include not having to compulsively sort my books out, not having to colour code my files so I won't lose them, not having to fold my bedsheets in a hurry, I now have ALLL the time in the world to do them. :)

Also I get to wake up at 9 o'clock and sit like one diseased (glassy eyed, messy headed, like that) till Amma is forced to strip me and push me to shower.

I've been watching House MD, which has to be the MOST MAGNIFICENT series ever made. Currently on 118. That bitch Vogler. In other news, I've been eating out every day, the wake-up-early-and-work-out idea isn't working out at all. I watched Ayan, which I did enjoy, and I'm watching Ananda Thandavam this afternoon.

Going to Chennai tomorrow, yay, and Bangalore a couple of weeks later. I'm actually missing school right now, and some purpose these holidays would be divine. Oo, read Love Story by Erich Segal, which I thought was better that A Walk to Remember on some level, but is actually the same story in essence, except JennyOfLoveStory has none of JamieOfAWalkToRmmr's hoiler-than-thou-ness. Also read Ice Station, which did not live up to my expectations, but was a decent read overall.

Will start A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry today.

Hmm. Just a thought. How much of vetti-sitting and sleeping with no plan can someone take? Summer used to be my favourite time of the year, but I feel wasted sitting around like this. Maybe I should learn to cook. Now there's a thought. :)